HoneyPot Progress

I have spent some time this weekend reviewing where I am. How is my HoneyPot doing? When will I reach FI? I could possibly say I am FIRE now. The fund is looking pretty good and I am now seeing a positive increase rather than a negative return when I compare LY / TY monthly figures.

I am pushing spare money into my newly opened SIPP and I am currently showing a loss but I think that is due to the fees and the drop in my selected fund prices over the past few weeks. I will “keep calm and carry on”. This is a long term savings path and I need to keep saving hard and making the most of the tax free accounts available to me. While I am still working I want to take advantage of any tax breaks and plough spare cash in to useful diverse savings areas so I can feel happy with my HoneyPot over the long term.

It needs to last me at least until I can draw my state and final salary pension when I am 67 – if they still exist then? Can never tell what will happen with pensions either company or state ones.

To get a full state pension, I still need to contribute a few more years of NI into the state pot.

I have been browsing the job sites for any interesting jobs but nothing about. I will continue to browse and start rattling a few of my network contacts. I am thinking of changing direction just need to find the right thing. I am reading up on how others have changed direction and what the pros/cons have been so I can try and work out the best path to take so I don’t make the same mistakes along the way.

I don’t want a job in London and so its a bit sparse in my immediate vicinity. I will continue to browse. I have heard that someone I used to work with has been head-hunted and has been offered a job where they can work from home most of the time. I read the US FIRE blogs and plenty of them have managed to find a similar home-based role. I could do with something like that, with the odd trip out to face-to-face meetings.

Something similar to an old job I had and enjoyed where I was in a sense ‘field’ working and able to work from different work locations as well as home. It allowed me to ‘mix it up’ and vary the people I met and worked with and feel like I was ‘making the difference’ that provides that ‘self-worth’ that I crave.

I will continue to read around the blogs and research options and see what fits. I need to end the weekend on a positive note! Onward and Upward on the FIRE trail.

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April Progress

Can’t believe its nearly the end of April already. I have received my tax return notice and will have to start collating all the info for submission. Now that savings interest is paid gross I have to see what tax I may need to pay and also what will be due on taxable dividends.

And what do you mean, we now have an general election on the 8th June. Ouch! Its bad enough with the local council ones. I am not a political animal and don’t really like the media coverage and hype that is being stirred up about Brexit. I have been trying to avoid this by evaluating things more closer to home.

I have been reviewing my work life at the moment as the job is getting toxic. I have been reading ournextlife.com and it makes interesting reading. I love the positivity and the analysis of the journey and the thoughts it provokes.  I particularly like the article on self worth & validation. I am someone who likes to feel that I am making a difference at work and that I am contributing to make positive steps for others. Getting a thanks for making a difference is more important to me than anything and gives me the self worth and fulfilment that has made going to work enjoyable and worthy.  That has been the draw rather than climbing the career ladder. I guess I have fallen into the “live to work” trap and in the past enjoyed my jobs and feeling rewarded by the positive comments from others for work delivered and achieved….making a difference….be that as a team or individual… I have received promotions along the way but have not wanted to strive for the higher levels of management and the heady heights of the career ladder.

In my current job that making a difference feeling is missing. Work is not providing any internal or external validation for me. It is not something that is present in the tasks I am performing at the moment. My contributions seem to be constantly questioned. I am being challenged at every turn and my every move interrogated to the point I now feel that I question my own ability to actually do the job. Micromanagement is kicking in big time due the the office politics, people trying to protect their own backs and putting me in the ‘scapegoat’ situation. Its a sorry state of affairs when a job turns sour. The politics of office life raises its sickly head and the dark clouds of a toxic environment start to billow around you. It has hit home harder his week as a work colleague has handed in their notice. They are not happy with their role and have found something new to move to, which will hopefully be better for them. I hope it works out well for them and also makes me realise I need to do something about my situation. I need to plan my escape.

Leaving work would resolve the toxic element but where would I find the self worth and the validation I seek? I have an innate passion for doing a good job and put my heart and soul into things. Where would I find that in a new job and eventually in FIRE?

I am not in FIRE territory yet, still on the journey with all its twists and turns. I suppose I could quit work and live off my savings for a while then look for something new.  A change of direction is needed. I did that the other year when the previous job I accepted turned out to be ‘not as advertised’. I jumped into a job too quickly after my redundancy and paid the price. What I do seem to feel is that the role I do just doesn’t fit me any more. Being a punchbag for others to verbally abuse and stress out is hard on my health. Headaches and pains abound and I wonder what it is really doing to my underlying health. As I walk into work I can feel the heavy chains wrap themselves around my body and a vice like grip squeeze the life out of my brain. I am the middle man with no ability to control or affect the situation. I don’t have that ‘teflon’ coating that seems to be required in this role, I am worn down and generally demoralised by the whole working world.

It’s making me turn the wrong way and make bad decisions. I am walking into stupid situations and making silly mistakes because my brain has disengaged. Stupid me!

I know I am ranting but need to let off the steam. An outlet for my anger is required and I need to calm down and get focused on moving on, moving forward. Frustration that I cannot expect being FIRE to completely resolve, how will it provide the validation I seek going forward. I need to find a hustle that gives me some focus and some self-worth. That need to achieve and get a feedback loop. That motivation and feeling of being valued has to come from somewhere, now in my working life and once I reach FIRE?

Where do I find it? When will I find it?

April Fool

The 1st April all ready. April Fool’s day in the UK and I wonder what will appear in the media today….

I have just spend a few hours doing my monthly review to see where I am financially. Its been a quiet month really, I have been topping up my ISA and SIPP with any spare money to reach any tax year limits where possible and I have been re-balancing my funds. So sold funds and bought others to try and diversify and re-balance my accounts as I hold too many UK funds and need to move some into Global funds. In the normal way for me, the funds I have moved into have dropped in value but I hope they will pick up and move back into the black in the future.

I don’t really like buying funds at this time of year as I feel that the funds get overheated as everyone is trying to use up their allowances so there is a spike.  I will continue to review the re-balance activity over the following few months to smooth out the buying peaks.

Based on this month last year my net worth is up. Based on last month, I am down. The volatility in the markets continues and my investments seem to roller coaster rather than ‘bob’ along lightly. The sooner Brexit gets more settled the better.

I managed to fit in a long weekend holiday. A motorbike trip with my partner to Whitby to catch the sunshine. A nice ride round the York moors, a visit to Goathland and fish and chips in Whitby itself. The dry weather and blue skies were great. Although others had the same idea, so Whitby was heaving with people, cars queuing to get into the harbour area. Some very relaxing cafe stops in small villages on the York moors and pub meals in the evenings helped to re-charge the batteries. Being able to sit outside with a pint and take in the warm sunshine and views was great for my sanity. I need a few more weekends like this!

I needed the break from work as my head is about to explode. Why? Because my head feels like a football, being kicked between multiple managers (including my boss) as the office politics kicks in big time. I have receive multiple ‘verbal battering’ in meetings from various managers over the past month because I am being used as a deflection tactic by others and the scapegoat for other people’s inadequacies and failings. I have been well and truly hung out to dry by my boss too, so much for their comments about ‘having my back and supporting me’. They well and truly stabbed me in the back then tried to dress the wound with empty words afterwards. From what I can glean from others in the company, this scenario happened 2 years ago and resulted in my predecessor leaving! (as they were receiving the same treatment and decided that enough was enough).

The sooner I can quit this current career the better. It is no good for my health and I am fed up of being treated like dirt that can be shouted at and generally poorly treated. My head hurts.

I have been expected to put in extra hours this month and I have just continued to be barracked during this time too. I know I don’t work the kind of hours that some others do, I am not working a 12 hour day (work + commute) but to be fair I have done that and I feel I’ve had enough of it. “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt“, I just want a better work-life balance now. I have worked the long hours through my 20s and 30s and put in the effort and received no reward for it – other than to actually lose my job to redundancy. I want to slow down and get off the high-speed train and take a slower journey now that enables me to stop and do other things along the way.

I am being made to feel that I am inadequate and incapable of doing my job. The pressure and expectation is being increased and I am expected to perform. Well, I think I have had enough. My confidence has been squashed to nothing, I am now internally questioning my ability to do the job at all. My burnout limits just don’t seem to be at the levels they once were.

That is why I am on this journey to FI so I can have choices. To gain it I need to stick at this current job a bit longer and continue to save hard. I am so near and yet so far away…….