April Fool

The 1st April all ready. April Fool’s day in the UK and I wonder what will appear in the media today….

I have just spend a few hours doing my monthly review to see where I am financially. Its been a quiet month really, I have been topping up my ISA and SIPP with any spare money to reach any tax year limits where possible and I have been re-balancing my funds. So sold funds and bought others to try and diversify and re-balance my accounts as I hold too many UK funds and need to move some into Global funds. In the normal way for me, the funds I have moved into have dropped in value but I hope they will pick up and move back into the black in the future.

I don’t really like buying funds at this time of year as I feel that the funds get overheated as everyone is trying to use up their allowances so there is a spike.  I will continue to review the re-balance activity over the following few months to smooth out the buying peaks.

Based on this month last year my net worth is up. Based on last month, I am down. The volatility in the markets continues and my investments seem to roller coaster rather than ‘bob’ along lightly. The sooner Brexit gets more settled the better.

I managed to fit in a long weekend holiday. A motorbike trip with my partner to Whitby to catch the sunshine. A nice ride round the York moors, a visit to Goathland and fish and chips in Whitby itself. The dry weather and blue skies were great. Although others had the same idea, so Whitby was heaving with people, cars queuing to get into the harbour area. Some very relaxing cafe stops in small villages on the York moors and pub meals in the evenings helped to re-charge the batteries. Being able to sit outside with a pint and take in the warm sunshine and views was great for my sanity. I need a few more weekends like this!

I needed the break from work as my head is about to explode. Why? Because my head feels like a football, being kicked between multiple managers (including my boss) as the office politics kicks in big time. I have receive multiple ‘verbal battering’ in meetings from various managers over the past month because I am being used as a deflection tactic by others and the scapegoat for other people’s inadequacies and failings. I have been well and truly hung out to dry by my boss too, so much for their comments about ‘having my back and supporting me’. They well and truly stabbed me in the back then tried to dress the wound with empty words afterwards. From what I can glean from others in the company, this scenario happened 2 years ago and resulted in my predecessor leaving! (as they were receiving the same treatment and decided that enough was enough).

The sooner I can quit this current career the better. It is no good for my health and I am fed up of being treated like dirt that can be shouted at and generally poorly treated. My head hurts.

I have been expected to put in extra hours this month and I have just continued to be barracked during this time too. I know I don’t work the kind of hours that some others do, I am not working a 12 hour day (work + commute) but to be fair I have done that and I feel I’ve had enough of it. “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt“, I just want a better work-life balance now. I have worked the long hours through my 20s and 30s and put in the effort and received no reward for it – other than to actually lose my job to redundancy. I want to slow down and get off the high-speed train and take a slower journey now that enables me to stop and do other things along the way.

I am being made to feel that I am inadequate and incapable of doing my job. The pressure and expectation is being increased and I am expected to perform. Well, I think I have had enough. My confidence has been squashed to nothing, I am now internally questioning my ability to do the job at all. My burnout limits just don’t seem to be at the levels they once were.

That is why I am on this journey to FI so I can have choices. To gain it I need to stick at this current job a bit longer and continue to save hard. I am so near and yet so far away…….

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4 thoughts on “April Fool

  1. Sorry to read that you are not having a good time at work. Rather than sticking to this current job, there is another choice, that of leaving for a job which will be less stressful and better for your health and sanity. Granted that this may mean that you may have to continue working a little while longer to achieve FI but your current situation just sounds terrible to me.

  2. Thanks Weenie. I am just having a bad time at the moment. I think it’s just my state of mind. I need a breather and a chance to reset my thoughts.

    The nature of the work I do is changing and it’s not suiting my temperament or values. I need to either get a strong backbone and grit my teeth and carry on or walk away. It’s a shame as I used to enjoy my job role and enjoyed the challenge and finding the answers to the problems. Now, I am just tired and worn out. It’s probably a mid-life crisis kicking in.

    I used to be able to handle this kind of situation, now I just crack under the slightest pressure. A real shame as I once used to think more of myself than I now do. Self-esteem and confidence at an all time low.

  3. Hey Sparklebee, sorry to hear that it is just getting worse and worse. Are you actively looking for a new position? I know it can be really difficult when you are constantly facing what you do every single day. All you want to do when you get home is as little as possible. It really sounds like you need to be out ASAP, otherwise you may not be well enough to enjoy FI when you do make it.

    Also, stick to your guns on the work/life balance. They’re probably all giving you grief because it’s what they wish they were strong enough to do.

    And you know what? You CAN do your job. You do have the skills. Putting up with ridiculous pressure is not part of any true job description – if it can’t be done by one person in a reasonable amount of time, that’s their problem for under-resourcing, it shouldn’t have to be yours.

    • Just seems to be the way the work treadmill goes now.
      Someone I work with seems to see it as a badge of office that he has spent his whole weekend working rather than not working – it is his free time . No one will thank him for it.
      Under resourcing is part of the problem, what happens when you work in smaller companies were you find people acting as big fish in little ponds too.
      I need a good holiday …. I have been reading our next life blog about burnout and work disillusionment and it ticks all the boxes.

      Roll on FI……

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